An Intentional Life

Wall

2010-11-01T21:36:00.000-07:00

Back in the corner up against the wall she sits at the table alone.

Shunned for her actions, discarded for her lies, life goes on around her.

She wants to reach out to say she’s sorry and she was wrong but the wall feels to tall.

The wall of anger and resentment, of intrusion and distrust and unstated hurt feelings

The table used to hold others and together they laughed about the world around them. But now her laughter feels forced, foreign to her own ears.

She tries to find something to grasp onto to stay above the water but the lifesaver seems to do nothing but bring the water higher.

Disapproval and judgment are thrown at her like darts at a board. So she continues to hide, to lie and live in her own world. Shutting out those that used to surround her but who now seem like strangers.

But she refuses to shut down. Grasping on to that sliver of hope she slowly takes a step forward longing for the brick to crumble in her fingers and for the wall to disappear.

A New Cast of Characters

2010-08-15T18:57:00.000-07:00

I told my mom that I would put up a list of the people I would be living, working, and interacting with for the next 4 months so when I talk to her she can have some sort of a clue who I'm talking about.

Josh, Kraig, Nichole, Lauren- my fellow interns and roommates
Jamie- founder of TWLOHA and creative director
Rich- Director of operations
Jessica- operations coordinator
Chris-director of new media
Denny- director of university chapters
Katie-event coordinator
James- graphic designer
Lindsay- intern program director and imalive project manager
Chloe- street team and benefit coordinator
Chad- music and events and road warrior
Kaitlyn- MOVE community conference project manager and editor
Whitney- administrative assistant
Holly- University chapter coordinator and office manger
Harbor
Shannon
Emily
Quentin

So yeppers my new community. They are a great group of people and I can't wait to get to know them more.

Love and miss you all

Last Few Weeks

2010-08-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

The last week of July I was in the Parkside house by myself. It was very weird and very quiet. I would basically come home from work and go to my room. O n Friday of that week which was my last day of work, everyone threw me a surprise going away party. It was so sweet. They had a cake, punch, flowers, and a balloon. Everyone gave me a card. It was so sweet. By the time the party was over it was time for me to leave. I headed out and went to meet Tina, Amanda, and Kyle for dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. they got sushi but I don't like seafood so I quickly looked at the menu had no clue what anything was and just picked something. I have never done that before. I'm a pretty picky eater and when I go to restaurants I usually get the sames things every time. So for me to pick something with having no clue whats in it is a pretty big deal. Anyways it ended up being this really good broth with onions, noodles, flank steak, and some other stuff that I couldn't tell you in it. I thought it was really good. :)
After dinner Tina had to go help at something at work so Amanda, Kyle, and I went back to my house had cake and hung out and talked until Tina was done. Then we went and helped Tina and Amanda finish cleaning and packing up their stuff. Well I supervised. Since all their furniture had been moved out of their apartment Tina had moved into Parkside with me and Amanda came over and had a sleepover too. Saturday morning Amanda left.

Saturday night one of the new CVs Kristina showed up and the two of us had dinner and hung out and then I went and picked up Rachel at the airport. Both girls stayed the night. Sunday the four of us went to breakfast and they went off to the retreat center. Later that night Tina and I went and played games with the CVs and then had dinner with them. It was a surreal experience being back at San Pedro and sitting in that circle of chairs. Tina and i went back on Tuesday had dinner with them again and along with some other alumni talked about community and what we leaned from our year.

That weekend Tina, Seth (Tina's boyfriend), and I were going to be driving up to GA for Agatas wedding. We were going to leave Saturday morning expecting the CVs to move in sometime in the afternoon. Well around Wednesday we realized that the retreat was ending Friday at 10am. So there was a mad dash from my end to finish getting my room packed up and to get the house cleaned. The girls who were living Parkside this year arrived around 12 and I sat at the kitchen table and watched them move in. Again really weird. We had talked with Elaine and she had said it was ok for was to crash at the house that night. I was going down to Cocoa to see Erin and Chelsea who were in town visiting so I decided to ask if I could stay down there and just leave from Cocoa in the morning.

Cocoa was so much fun. I stayed with Holly. Erin, Chelsea, and i went out to dinner and then hung out at the house waiting for Holly to get off of work. Then the 4 of us went over to Paddy Cassidys, a local pub. Damion Suomi was playing that night and we all really like his music. It was a great night. There were two of the current interns there Gavin and Carra. We realized that there were 4 "generations" of interns together. Holly was an intern Fall of 09. Chelsea and Erin were interns Spring of 10. Carra and Gavin were interns Summer of 10, and I am an intern Fall 10. It was very cool to think about.

So i got up very early the next morning after getting about 3 hours of sleep and drove 5 hours to Statesboro, GA. It was full of lots of caffeine and loud music to stay awake. I got there about 2 hours before the wedding checked into the hotel and got ready. The wedding was beautiful and Agata looked beautiful. The reception was a lot of fun. There were a lot of young people there so people were dancing. Plus there was free wine and beer :) The next morning after breakfast with Tina and Seth i drove 4 hours back to FL and moved in with Linda for the week.

On Monday I spent the day at Pathways helping Katina the new CV who took over my position get oriented and tell her about the positions. I think she'll do well. The rest of the week was spent getting ready and just hanging out around the house. It was really nice. Linda cooked and I had a delicious home cooked meal Monday and Tuesday night. Her son Paul is a chef and he came over Tuesday night for dinner and brought some stuff. Wednesday night we ordered pizza and Thursday she took me out for Mexican and ice cream. It was like being home with a mom again. It was nice having someone to take care of me for a little bit. Friday afternoon I packed up and I drove down to Cocoa to move into the inter house and begin my new adventure.

The last year has been an incredible up and down crazy adventure. I have learned so much. some of it the hard way but I learned it non the less. I'm excited to move on and get to know all the new people coming into my life and to use the skills I have learned in school and through life.

Love and miss you all

End of a Year

2010-07-18T10:37:00.001-07:00

In two weeks my year of service comes to an end, its mind boggling to me that an entire year has gone by. I can distinctly remember sitting in the hotel room after dropping my mom off at the airport and thinking, “this is going to be the longest year ever “ and now it’s almost over. When I came to FL I had this idea in my head about changing the world. To me being a hero and changing the world were doing things like finding a cure for cancer, or ending a war, or finding some big discovery. I think this is the thought of a lot of people today. But what I have discovered this year that to me it’s not the big people of this country like the president, the military leaders, CEOs, or even the people who run the non profits that are the heroes and the world changers and it’s not the grand gestures either. I’ve discovered that it’s the little things that can change the world. It’s a smile and a hello. It’s painting a picture and talking and sharing stories from when you were little. Its dropping what you are doing and rushing to a friend’s side when they need you. It’s holding a child when they are crying. It’s helping someone when no one else will. So even though there were and are days where I feel so completely and utterly frustrated and I can’t even begun to see the point of me being down here I do know that what I have done down here this year has made a difference.

I have loved, laughed, cried, fought, and been furious this year. I’ve grown up this year. I’ve seen life outside the safety of college, family, and familiarity and the best part is I survived and even flourished. Even though I can complain a lot about this year and the situations I’ve been put in, I am SO glad that I came down here. If I didn’t come to FL I never would have met the amazing people that I did. I wouldn’t be able to count the 16 other CVs as part of my family. I never would have attended the MOVE conference with TWLOHA and then I never would have met Brandi, Erin, and Chelsea who then encouraged me to apply for the internship. If I wasn’t living in FL I never would have had the courage to apply and now I am going to be experiencing one of my dreams. Working with an organization that I deeply respect and in a field that is near and dear to my heart.
But mixed in with the excitement of the internship and the thoughts of new friends and new adventure is the bittersweet thoughts of saying goodbye. The 16 people I have lived with this year have become so very dear to me. They have walked along side me during some very hard times. I will miss them terribly and the thought of saying goodbye breaks my heart. And I swear if one more adult tells me this is normal for someone my age and I’ll see them again and they’ll still be in my heart blah blah blah I swear I will scream. Haha I know they are well meaning but it sucks and it hurts. Anyways life is good and I never in a million years imagined that a year out of college that this is where I would be. I always thought that I would be in grad by now. I don’t regret though and I couldn’t happier about the choices that led me here.

An Updately Sort of Thing

2010-06-12T21:31:00.000-07:00

I have gotten horrible about updating this blog and since I only have a month left down here I thought I would pop in and let all 8 of you fabulous people who read this a look into the past few months. Well there has been a week long retreat. Where we had a day of silence. I did amazingly well. There was about an hour where I faltered a bit but eh oh well Jesus forgives me. I also bashed my head open and may or may not have gotten a concussion (if you ask I'll show you the scar). There was a 2 hour game of sardines where an 1 of it was spent looking for 1 guy. There was also a talent show full of stories, interpretive corn hole dance, rap songs, Broadway songs, Polish songs with words that sounds like bad words in English, and judges that were a bit sketchy. And to end the week a trip to Taco Johns and an Alumni party.

I also had the chance to go to Cocoa and hang out with the girls who I had met at MOVE and were intern with TWLOHA. It was wonderful. We had lunch at Ryans a pizza place in the village and spent a few hours at the beach. Then I made all the girls lunch back a the bungalow. It was a great day and i absolutely love spending time with all of them. I've spent very little time with the girls but especially Erin, Brandi, and Chelsea, but I feel so close to them. I consider them to be good friends. :)

One of the best things to be going on recently is that I have applied to be an intern for To Write Love On Her Arms. Last week I got an email stating that I got through the first round of applications and they wanted to interview me. So I set up an interview with Lindsay the intern director for this past Tuesday. I think interview went really well. Lindsay told me that I would know either the first or second week of July whether or not I got the internship.

The internship is 4 months long, August 16-December 10. If I don't get the internship the plan is to come home, find a job, start saving money, and go to grad school.

So yeah those are the big things that have been going on. Other than that, I've just been going to work and hanging out with my friends.

Love and miss you all

Easter in Atlanta

2010-04-14T05:49:00.000-07:00

The week after going to the baseball game I only worked 3 1/2 days. Friday was good Friday and Thursday i took a half day so I could drive to Atlanta to spend Easter with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. Chaleece and I drove up on Thursday and Tine drove up on Friday after work.

Friday we all just laid around the house. The basement is basically like an apartment and he bedroom down there is amazing! The bed is so soft and comfortable and there are no windows so it is pitch black with the lights off. You have no way of knowing what time it is. It was so nice. Savannah, Katie, Challece, and I ran a few errands with aunt Barb and when we got back to the house we dyed Easter eggs. will admit that on the outside I was rolling my eyes doing the whole "I'm 23 and WAY to old to be doing this." But on the inside I was squealing and had a stupid grin on my face. So the 4 of us girls dyed eggs and Savannah managed to spill orange dye all down her leg and her foot was that color for a few hours.

Tina arrived around 11pm as everyone was heading to bed. The next morning we all got up and along with a friend of Katie's went to the World of Coke. It was really cool. It had been many, many years since I had been there and they had done a bunch of renovations. Chaleece was in heaven running around touching and looking at everything :) It was really cool. They had a 4-D short video. I was a little wary at first because i was traumatized by the Honey i Shrunk The Audience movie at Disney World when i was 8. So I pretty much hate 3D movies. But I survived. Actually I just stared at the bottom of the screen and kinda watched the movie through my eyelashes. haha

So we headed back to the house and just spent the evening watching movies and relaxing. Sunday we got up and went to Dunwoody for church. Tina, Chaleece, Savannah and I went to Sunday school with Savannah. It was a good message. It was great people kept asking what grade we were in and what school we went to. Plus most of teh room was full of adorable, awkward middle school boys. So the 3 of us went to big people church and then home. My mom had called my aunt and told her to get me chocolate bunny since she didn't get a chance to. My aunt made a basket not only for me and her kids but for Chaleece and Tina. It was a wonderful surprise. A Friend of Aunt Barb's came over and we had Easter dinner. Again the rest of the evening was spent relaxing there was a house wide nap at one point which was wonderful :)

Savannah recently got a recording studio type computer program and basically has a recording studio in the basement. A while back she said she would help me put music to some lyrics that I had written. So the two of us spent a few hours playing around. Then a friend of Savannah's came over and we were about to eat dinner when Aunt Barb starts saying "oh no we didn't have the egg hunt." So at 7:30 with the last bits of light Chaleece, Tina, and I hid Easter eggs and Katie went looking for them. There were 47 eggs I think and we hid them all. By the time Katie got outside though it was pretty much dark so she couldn't find all of the eggs. It was decided that she was going to go looking for them the next day. I'm not sure if they have found them all yet.

Monday morning Chaleece, Tina, and I got up early and headed off to the retreat center, which we had to get there by 4pm. it was a wonderful relaxing weekend. I got to sleep in, I didn't have to worry about work, or cooking, or cleaning. It was wonderful mini vaca. Plus I love spending time with my family.

Love and miss you all

A Visit, A Funeral, A Bar, And A Baseball Game

2010-04-13T15:39:00.000-07:00

Ok this is the next week starting with Saturday night.

So I got home around 6:30pm that night and unpacked. My parents and sister were flying in to spend the week in FL. They got in around 7 and I met them at the condo where they were staying for the week. I got there and we ordered pizza and just relaxed. Everyone was tired. The next day Em and I slept in until 2pm which was SO wonderful since I had not done that in forever and just had two nights where I was up until around 3am. We spent Sunday hanging around the condo and went grocery shopping. I ended up going back to my house since I wasn’t sure what the traffic was going to be like to get to work. So while I was at work Monday the family just laid around the pool and dad went fishing. I went over to the condo after work that night and we were making dinner when we got a call from the nursing home that my grandma had passed away. At that point all hell kind of broke loose. Tuesday Dad and Emily came and painted the intake bathroom and Mom and Emily came on Wednesday and the three of us went shopping for towels and such. The bathroom is gorgeous and Jane is absolutely thrilled with it. I am in the process of doing something similar in the intake room and the walls around the reception desk.

Thursday mom, dad, and Emily went to epcot and I worked. Then Friday I went over to the condo after work. I was going to fly home with them on Saturday for the funeral. On Saturday our check out time was 11 but we didn’t need to be at the airport until around 4pm. So we just laid by the pool for several hours. It was nice. I got some sun. Well I got sunburnt actually. So we flew home and mom’s friends picked us up at the airport. The next 6 days were a whirlwind of plan making, people and pretty much stuff that I didn’t want to deal with. Monday I had the chance to spend a few hours with my good friends Lauren. We met or lunch at Paradise bakery, then went shopping, and got our nails done. It was wonderful to see her. I miss her terribly and it was a nice distraction from the events. Afterwards I went over and hung out with Kami for a couple hours and talked with her and saw her kids.

The funeral was absolutely beautiful and def what my grandma would have wanted. She did plan it all herself after all. I said two verses at the service and then read a poem at the graveside. I flew back to Orlando on Thursday and went back to work on Friday.

Friday night, Lauren, Chaleece, Chaleece’s cousin, Amanda, and I went to a piano bar in downtown Disney. I was a dueling pianos thing. People wrote down their requests and put them along with a tip on the piano and the guys played the songs. The guys playing were hilarious and they played some really good stuff. We all had a lot of fun and didn’t get home until 2am. Saturday Lauren, Amanda, Neal, and I went to Tampa. Lauren, Amanda, Neal, and Jonathan went to Busch Gardens and I stayed at home and was a couch potato. The next morning the 5 of us drove to Ft. Meyers to see a Twins vs. Red Sox spring training game. It was fun, I’m not a big baseball fan but I enjoyed the company and the weather was nice. We drove back to Tampa after the game dropped Jonathan of and then drove home. In all we spent a total of 7 out of 24 hours in the car and since we took my car needless to say I was sick of driving by the end of the weekend.

MOVE Conference

2010-04-13T15:38:00.000-07:00

I need to get better with my blogging. I now need to play catch up since a whole month has passed a very busy one at that and I haven’t blogged about any of it. I’m going to start at the beginning of March and probably to a couple posts on the month so that each post isn’t to horribly long. So here is the beginning.

The second week of March I had the opportunity to go to a two day conference that To Write Love On Her Arms was putting on called MOVE. It was in Coca beach. I got a room for two nights and was so excited to go. I ended up getting hooked up with this girl named Rachel who wanted to share a hotel room. She lives in Orlando so I suggested we meet and carpool down saving money. She was cool and we had fun chatting on the way down. We went Thursday night and got there around 8pm. We ended up just hanging in the hotel room. Friday morning we got up and went to the conference room. I was nervous about meeting all the new people and the TWLOHA interns and staff. I walked up to the registration table and was warmly greeted by Kaitlyn and one of the interns. I was welcomed by everyone and felt at ease instantly. The first day our speaker was Aaron Moore; a licensed counselor who has a practice with his wife in Orlando. He presented info on depression, anxiety, and addiction. As far as information presentation goes I felt a bit like I was back in psych class. But it was different. From the very beginning everyone made it clear that this weekend was about dialogue. The speaker as well as the interns and TWLOHA staff wanted to hear from us. They wanted to know our stories. What we had seen work and not work. I thought it was a wonderful way of talking about the topics and getting info out there. As the day was winding down we were informed that there was a surprise. Well in walked Damion Suomi and Lauris Vidal. I was so excited and tried to keep my fan girl squeals to a minimum J the guys each played 2 songs and we were dismissed when they were done.

So that day’s sessions ended around 5. Rachel and I went back to our room and just hung out and ordered pizza. Damion and the Minor Prophets and Lauris were going to be playing a show at a local bar that night to raise money for a trip to SXSW in TX. So Rachel and I went. Other than us there was only one other person from the conference there so the three of us hung out with the TWLOHA interns the whole night. Rachel ended up wanting to leave around 11:30 so I quickly took her back to the hotel and went back to the bar after that. I had an absolute blast that night. I got to know the interns listened to some amazing music and just laughed. I was talking with one of the girls Brandi and I mentioned how much I would love to be an intern. How my dream job would be to work for TWLOHA. But I felt like I had to be an adult and couldn’t do a 4 month unpaid internship. She really encouraged me. She said if it was something that I was passionate about then I should just go for it. It can’t hurt to apply. So that is exactly what I am doing. I am in the process of applying for the fall internship. If I were to get it then I would be staying in FL until December. Anyways I had a lot of fun and I got to know some pretty amazing people. I didn’t get back to the hotel until around 1:30am and didn’t go to bed until 3am.

The next day the speaker was Michelle Moore. She presented eating disorders and self-injury. Then we did a basic QPR training. QPR stands for Question, Pursue, and Refer. It gave info on recognizing the signs of someone who is suicidal, the questions to ask, and how to get them help. It was really helpful and I hope to someday be fully qualified in suicide prevention response, so I can work a hotline or even take part in TWLOHA IMALIVE program. So Saturday’s sessions ended around 3. I bought some t-shirts said goodbye and Rachel and I left for Orlando. I was sad to leave my new friends, but I left invigorated and excited about a possible future and a reignited passion to help.

You Are Not Naked

2010-04-12T06:35:00.001-07:00

Found this on one of my favorite blogs stuffchristianslike.net and wanted to share

Easter is about grace. And when I think about grace, one of the things that stops me short of believing in it is shame. This post, written last year, is about shame and grace and the reason we’re not naked.
I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty awesome at applying band-aids. And make no mistake, there is an art. Because if you go too quickly and peel them the wrong way, they stick to themselves and you end up with a wadded up useless mess instead of the Little Mermaid festooned bandage your daughter so desperately wants to apply to a boo boo that may in fact be 100% fictional.
Half of the injuries I treat at the Acuff house are invisible or simply wounds of sympathy. My oldest daughter will scrape her knee and my 3-year old, realizing the band aid box is open will say, “Yo dad, I’d like to get in on that too. What do you say we put one on, I don’t know, my ankle. Yeah, my ankle, let’s pretend that’s hurt.”
But sometimes the cuts are real, like the day my 5-year old got a scrape on her face playing in the front yard. I rushed in the house and returned with a princess bandage. As I bent down to apply it to her forehead, her eyes filled up with tears and she shrunk back from me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I don’t want to wear that band-aid.” She replied.
“Why? You have a cut, you need a band-aid.” I said.
“I’ll look silly.” She answered.
Other than her sister and her mom, there was no one else in the yard. None of her friends were over, cars were not streaming passed our house and watching us play, the world was pretty empty at that moment. But for the first time I can remember, she felt shame. She had discovered shame. Somewhere, some how, this little 5 year old had learned to be afraid of looking silly. If I was smarter, if I had been better prepared for the transition from little toddler to little girl, I might have asked her this:
“Who told you that you were silly?”
I didn’t though. That question didn’t bloom in my head until much later and I didn’t understand it until I saw God ask a similar question in Genesis 3:11. To me, this is one of the saddest and most profoundly beautiful verses in the entire Bible. Adam and Eve have fallen. The apple is a core. The snake has spoken. The dream appears crushed. As they hide from God under clothes they’ve hastily sewn together, He appears and asks them a simple question:
“Who told you that you were naked?”
There is hurt in God’s voice as He asks this question, but there is also a deep sadness, the sense of a father holding a daughter that has for the first time ever, wrapped herself in shame.
Who told you that you were not enough?
Who told you that I didn’t love you?
Who told you that there was something outside of me you needed?
Who told you that you were ugly?
Who told you that your dream was foolish?
Who told you that you would never have a child?
Who told you that you would never be a father?
Who told you that you weren’t a good mother?
Who told you that without a job you aren’t worth anything?
Who told you that you’ll never know love again?
Who told you that this was all there is?
Who told you that you were naked?
I don’t know when you discovered shame. I don’t know when you discovered that there were
people that might think you are silly or dumb or not a good writer or a husband or a friend. I don’t know what lies you’ve been told by other people or maybe even by yourself.
But in response to what you are hearing from everyone else, God is still asking the question, “Who told you that you were naked?”
And He’s still asking us that question because we are not.
In Christ we are not worthless.
In Christ we are not hopeless.
In Christ we are not dumb or ugly or forgotten.
In Christ we are not naked.
Isaiah 61:10 it says:
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness.
The world may try to tell you a thousand different things today. You might close this post and hear a million declarations of what you are or who you’ll always be, but know this.
As unbelievable as it sounds and as much as I never expected to type this sentence on this blog:
You are not naked

How can a short month feel so long?

2010-03-01T11:34:00.000-08:00

So February is FINALLY over. This month for some reason just seemed to drag on and on. Which is kind of funny since it is the shortest month of the year. Not much happened during the month. Valentine’s Day weekend Lauren and I went up to Jacksonville. We went to see Dear John and hung out with Sarah and Kim. We tried to hang out in Jacksonville as late as possible because Michael had plans at the house for Rebecca. SO Lauren and I pull up to our house and it appears that no lights are on. So we sneak up and start looking in windows, which to an outsider probably looked like we were planning on breaking in. But Michael and Rebecca were there and heard us and Michael opens the door and scares the crap out of me. So Lauren and I walked in and there were flower petals and floating candles everywhere. IT was all very pretty. There was a trail of flowers that led upstairs and to Rebeccas room. So Lauren and I are standing there staring at all of this and Michael tells us that there is a trail that leads into our rooms. So we head upstairs and Michael had bought Lauren and I some candy and wrote us each a note telling us what he loves about us. It was SO sweet.
The next weekend we had our monthly spiritual meeting. It was at Emi's and the theme was love. We discussed where we have seen love in our lives. We had a delicious meal and several of us were sitting aound the dining room table and got into a dabate about religion, faith, and denominations. It got pretty heated but them Lauren had to leave becasue of work so I didn't get to hear the rest of it, but from what I hear it got interesting.
There really hasn't been much else going on. I just work, and hang out with the CVs.
Next weekend and the week following though are going to be awesome. March 12th and 13th I am going to a TWLOHA conference in Cocoa Beach. I can't wait! Then Saturday my parents and sister are comign down for the week. I'm so excited to see them I miss them alot. I can't wait to show them around Orlando and the life I have been living for the past 7 months.

Love and miss you all <3

4 Years

2010-02-18T09:16:00.001-08:00

I've been trying to write this post for the past 2 weeks. I was telling Lauren about this and she said that I should just sit down and write. Don't worry about it making sense or editing out the stuff I may not want certain people to read. So here goes...

This is a hard post for me to write, and I'm sure for some with will be hard to read. This month 4 years ago I sat in my dorm room with all the lights off, crying and almost ended my life. I was horribly depressed and just ready to be done with feeling all the pain, hurt, and never fully feeling okay. I can't really tell you what stopped me from taking the pills. It wasn't some act of God or a determination to live and push through. I just didn't take them and I am SO glad I didn't.
I don't talk about that night very often, and when I do it's said almost in passing. The same goes with talking about my battle with depression and an eating disorder. I think sometimes I want to pretend it never happened because that means there is never the possibility that it will happen again. I also pretend it never happened because I get angry, really angry. I feel like my teen years and a good portion of college was stolen from me because I was just trying to make from one day to the next. I wanted so desperately to feel ok. To feel normal (whatever that means) I was so consumed by this never ending sadness that I missed what was going on around me. I missed enjoying being young and having little responsibility. I missed truly enjoying the friends I had and the opportunities that were presented.
But as much as all of that makes me angry I can't dwell on it. I have to focus on the present and what is in store for me in the future. I also have to continually remind myself that my depression and eating disorder helped to make me who I am today, but they don't define me. I am so much more than a diagnosis.
I want to take the time right now to thank those who stood next to me walked through the darkness and into the light and who continually stand next to me and I navigate through life. For those who put their lives on hold to listen to me talk, who held me when I cried, and who encouraged me to keep going when all I wanted to do was give up. I want to thank those who never gave up on me. I can never thank you enough. You will forever be a part of my life and a reason I am who I am.

Love and miss you all
<3

My Future

2010-02-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

February marks 6 months since I moved down to FL to volunteer. While some weeks seemed to drag on forever the last few months have simply flown by. This means that i only have 6 more months to do everything that I wanted to do, to explore this state, and spend as much time as possible with the people who have become my family. But this also means that I have maybe 3 months to figure out what it is I want to do when my year is done. One of the reasons I decided to do a year of service was to take some time off from school. To clear my head and get away from test, papers, and projects. I thought that by coming down here it would just be a little vacation from school and a snippet of the real world and what to expect when I was ready to enter it permanently.

So what conclusions about my life have I come to in the past 6 months and what are the otions I see for my future. Well for one I don't really want to go back to school. I know I have to because there is no way to get a job as a counselor without a masters. But bleh!
I have also discovered that the idea of graduating and being in one place at one job until I retire DOES NOT sounds fun to me. I like moving around and trying new things, new jobs, new experiences.
Finally whether I get a full time job in some other area or decide to do another year of service with AmeriCorp, or even if I decide to go to grad school I don't know where I want to do it. For the first few months I whined and was adimit that as soon as possible I was going to get out of FL and return to IN to my friends, family, and familiarity. But things have changed. WHile I'm not 100% sold on staying in FL, I know what I would be leaving if I went back to IN, and to think about that makes me want to cry. I also have an idea of what would happen if I moved back and that idea doesn't appeal to me either.

So yeah as of right now the plan for the future changes sometimes on a daily basis. I would greatly appreciate prayer for discernment, trust, and wisdom and I move forward in making decisions. Also if any of you have any words of wisdom or ideas, or people that are looking for a counselor without a masters let me know.

Love and miss you all
<3

It's My Birthday And You Have To Do What I Say

2010-01-26T07:36:00.000-08:00

I find myself with the incessant need to describe my surroundings when I start a blog entry. Like right now I'm at work, my ipod is playing in the background, the fluorescent lights are giving me a headache and I can smell what I'm afraid is fish cooking in the cafeteria. SEE I don't know why i feel the need to say all this, but I have a sneaky feeling that its because i want all those who read my blog to get a genuine feeling of where I am. Or something profound like that :)

Anyways, Jan. 14-17 was another CVIF retreat. And it also happened to be my birthday weekend (yes I said weekend). So Wednesday night Jamathan (this is the nickname given to Jonathan and James) came up from Tampa and we hung out watched a movie or was it 24. I can’t remember I just know they were there. So we got up Thursday and finished getting ready. Jamathan left and we were right behind them when Lauren realized she didn’t have her wallet and couldn’t find it. So Rebecca, Lauren and I spent about and hour searching the house and Catholic Charities looking for it. Unfortunately we didn’t find it and Laurens thinks it may have been stolen. So the three of us took off and headed towards Green Cove Springs. It was a great car ride. We talked/counseled each other, danced like idiots, and listened to the musical stylings of NSYNC, Spice Girls, Britney Spears, and Hanson. Good times :)

So we arrived and everyone was just hanging out and getting dinner ready. We had a brief intro and then ate dinner. After dinner we had a husband and wife team who spoke about their prison ministry with inmates in solitary confinement and on death row. It was really interesting and definitely gave me things to think about when it comes to the death penalty. Friday we listened and discussed discernment for our lives. We then went and helped sort clothes and such at a thrift store that helps to fund a battered women's shelter. That night we had some alumni CVs come and teach about effective communication. We learned about "I, me" statements and how to discuss our feelings. It was totally a flashback to my psych classes but fun none the less. Saturday we got up and traveled to St. Augustine to spend time with the retired nuns that live there and tour the mother house (which by the way er kept calling the mother ship all day :) ) The nuns were so sweet. They were all in their 70s and 80s even a couple in their 90s and all but one were from Ireland. It was amazing to listen to them talk about their years of service and all that they had done. When were done with dinner we were released to go and do whatever we wanted around St. Augustine. Almost all the group decided to head to a bar to celebrate my birthday. We ended up at this place called Scarlett O'Hara's. It was really cool, there were all these paintings of the characters all over the place and fun drink names. We were there for a few hours and people started to trickle out. Around 11:30pm those of us who were left decided to go get something to eat. James had been talking about going to the Huddle House all weekend so we decided to try and find it.
Now lets pause for a second while I describe this place its essentially a Waffle House with a different name. Like the inside even looks like a Waffle House. But according to James the Huddle House is better. Plus apparently they are really friendly on facebook and twitter so they must be better. hehe The thing about this place is that no one knew for sure where it was. We had seen one on our way to St. Augustine but we couldn't remember where. So its 11pm in a town we don;t know driving around looking for a restaurant we think we saw. So lets continue shall we, so I get in a car with James an Kyle and Tina, Amanda, Zach, and Neal get in another car and we head out. After driving around for 30mins the other car gives up and just goes back to the retreat center. But James REALLY wanted to go so we continues looking. So after an hour in the car, going to the wrong Huddle House and random made up stories from Kyle to keep me awake we arrive at the Huddle House. So we arrive at about 12:30am eat and then head back to the retreat center. It was about 2am when we got back and we all collapsed into bed.
The next morning we got up did closing business and got in our cars to head home. On the way home Rebecca and Lauren picked up birthday cake mix. When we got home I checked the mail and I had 3 packages waiting for me. I was so excited to open them. I got some really great things from my grandpa and his wife, and my parents. So after opening presents and playing with my new toys, I went to a bible study at St. Margaret Mary with Lauren, Rebecca, and Michael. When we got back we had cake and Tina, Amanda, Chaleece, and Neal came over and had some too.

So the whole weekend was really fun. it was nice to get away from Orlando and work and just hang out with my friends. The next retreat is in April and it is a week long.

Love and miss you all
<3

Heavy and Light

2010-01-08T22:30:00.001-08:00

Its 1:30am, I smell like smoke, my hair is greasy and I'm absolutely exhausted. But I don't care about any of it. i don't notice it. I'm riding that high you get when have a great night with people you love and the feeling you have after seeing a great concert that absolutely touched you.
After a long week of work I was SO looking forward to tonight. Tonight was the To Write Love On Her Arms, "Heavy and Light" kickoff concert. TWLOHA is having a 2 day conference here in Orlando this weekend and tomorrow is the actual big concert at the House of Blues. Tonight was I think a bit spur of the moment thingy. It was really cool. It was held at a place called The Social in downtown Orlando. The show was 18 and up so the crowd was older. There were maybe 100-150 people there. Everyone was just hanging out, getting something to drink and talking. What I loved about tonight was everyone was there for the same reason. Yeah at a normal concert people are there because they enjoy the same artists but tonight was different. people were there for the music but they were there because of the cause. Because they believe in what TWLOHA stands for and it mission.
Being in that room I was once again reminded that I am not alone in my struggles and that other people feel the same way and other people want to help. which isn't that TWLOHA whole idea? (it is)
The music was wonderful a mix of upbeat fun lyrics, and slow haunting songs about love, loss, and finding the truth.
One of my favorite songs was about the artists year spent in DC. How he was broke and depressed. A line in the song is "Riches of stories and poor of pocket" Chaleece was sitting next to me and we looked at each other and both exclaimed "that SO describes our year"
Another reason that i enjoyed myself so much was the people I was with. Lauren, Chaleece, Rebecca, and Michael all came with me. These people are individuals that i have come to love and cherish dearly. They have been there to listen, encourage, pick me up, and generally keep me going day to day. I can honestly say that if it wasn't for them and their love I would not still be down here. I would have gone home months ago.
The whole night was just wonderful and definitely something I will remember.

Love and miss you all

Invisibility

2010-01-06T08:33:00.001-08:00

This is an entry from a blog called "Stuff Christians Like."

If you change clothes in a handicapped bathroom stall at work, never start with your pants.
For some reason, people in other stalls freak out if you strip your pants completely off in a bathroom. I find it’s best to start with your shirt or sweater. Focus on your torso until the bathroom is empty and then change out of your jeans.
These are the valuable lessons that people like Max Lucado refuse to share, but not me. I’ll tell you everything, because right now, everything is weird.
I learned the bathroom lesson after a quick trip to Chicago. I had spoken to a bunch of people as the last speaker at the Cultivate Conference. Then I got up at 4AM the next morning and caught a flight to Atlanta. I rode the train right to work, grabbed a clean pair of khakis out of my car, which I had left behind, and changed back into work mode.
Less than 12 hours later, it was like the whole Chicago thing hadn’t happened. The 150 folks, the speech, the Q&A session, that was fiction now. Fact was me sitting in an IT meeting looking at an excel spreadsheet.
Has that ever happened to you? You had a quick brush with an extraordinary life. You got to do something you loved doing. It was a mission trip you went on. You worked with some kids and remembered how much you love teaching and how little you like being an accountant. Or you painted or played music or did a million other things that sent a little shockwave through your heart.
“This, this is it! This is what I was created to do. I am alive in this. This is me!”
And then you went back to a day job. You went back to the real world. And that other thing, the music, the ministry, the whatever, faded back into the recesses of your imagination.
Those moments are not fun. Those moments can be incredibly frustrating. I will not try to soften the edges of those moments with pithy words. But I will say, I think I know why I keep having those moments.
My disappointment of trying to live an extraordinary life in the middle of an ordinary day stems from one simple fact:
I don’t want the gift of invisibility.
What’s that? That’s the season of life God usually grants before things get loud. Call it training, call it refinement, call it whatever you want, but it’s usually a time when regardless of your best efforts, things do not seem to go your way.
We hate those periods. We hate them because we are constantly searching for “Goliath moments.” We want the big, bold dramatic moments when the spotlight shines bright and we do something great. (A recent survey showed that something like 80% of the millennial generation felt like they’d be famous when they grew up.) No one wants the shepherd part of David’s life. The idea of being alone, in a field, for years with a bunch of sheep doesn’t inspire anyone. You can’t put that on a poster. You can’t fire up a crowd with tales from the quiet years of David’s life. But the truth is, you don’t get Goliath David without Shepherd David. Before he fought a giant, he wrestled bears. Before he became a king, he learned to be alone. Before he was great, he was invisible.
Maybe you are too right now. Maybe that thing you’re trying to start is not taking off. You’ve got a New Year’s resolution that you’re sticking to because this is going to be the year where you step out on an adventure and do something big for the Lord. But it already feels a little small. And that feels frustrating and really isolating, but you’re not alone in that.
Look at the Bible. Moses? 40 years of invisibility before the burning bush. Joseph? Years in prison before he became Pharaoh’s right hand man. Jesus? 30 years of invisibility followed by 40 days in the desert before his ministry became public. Over and over again we see the gift of invisibility in the Bible.
I’m in the same place you are right now. Yes, the book comes out this spring and that is a dream of visibility come true, but speaking wise, I’ve been pretty invisible. I honestly thought that after I spoke at Cross Point last July, I’d have the opportunity to speak at more churches on Sunday mornings. I thought, and this is a little embarrassing, that after I posted video of me speaking I’d have more chances to do that. You know how many times I’ve spoken at churches on a Sunday morning since July? Zero. Know how many times I’ve done that in almost two years of doing this site? One.
Then on Monday, I got rejected from the leadership program at work. Weeks after I helped lead thousands of people from around the world to build two kindergartens in Vietnam, I got told I wasn’t a leader. For the second year running. That’s not fun. It’s not fun wrestling with invisibility 40 hours a week in a cubicle where Stuff Christians Like doesn’t matter a lick. But I am convinced God gives us the gift of invisibility. I am convinced his timing is best. I am convinced he’s got me placed here because the people I work with need to know his love and that this important. I am convinced he has bears he wants us to face before we face Goliath.
That thing you’re trying to do, whether that’s start a ministry, follow your dreams or pour into your kids as much love and truth as possible, that thing is important. Don’t worry about your Goliath moment, it will come. And when it does, you’ll be glad you wrestled some bears first.

I felt like this entry spoke truth about my life right now. When I signed up to do AmeriCorp I thought that i would come to whatever site I was at and just blow everyone out of the water. I would help people and always feel like I was making a different. In my own way I was saving the world just a tiny bit. On top of that I was going to change who i was. I was going to leave the girl who was scarred by a past of depression and other crap and become this super confident, independent, super girl. (oh how i was wrong)
Fast forward 6 months and you will find me sitting behind a desk answering the phone bored out of my mind, counting down the seconds until I can get out of there for the day.
How could this be? I am the fresh out of college graduate who left her life, family, friends moved 1000 miles away to volunteer and live off $400 bucks a month. I don't deserve to be treated like some bottom of the food chain, idiot intern. I deserve to run around and save the world in my own way on my own time without someone bossing me around. (ha egotistical much)
(I have to tell you that as I'm writing this the voice in my head is yelling it, and saying stuff like "damn right" haha)
Yeah I'm telling the truth when I say all that. It definitely went through my head and still does sometimes. I def felt like I was wrestling with some bears. Not only was I learning to live in the real world, but I was homesick in the WORST way. A month after I got here I started the countdown to go home for Christmas.
But something happened while I was at home. I love being home and being with my family and seeing all my friends. But by the end of my visit I was ready to get back to FL. Let me tell you I was shocked.
Somewhere between the tantrums, the homesickness, and bad attitude I had learned to enjoy being where I was. I love the friends that I have made down here and I will miss them terribly. I even missed some of the people I work with.
Not only that but I have definitely seen how I have grown up in the past couple months. i accept my duties as they are given to me whether I like it or not. I manage to actually have money left in my account when the next pay day comes around. Growing up I used to think that being an adult meant you do everything for yourself. You figure everything out for yourself and only take help at the last desperate second. Being down here has definitely taught me that, that is a really stupid lie.

So yeah I'm starting to ramble and I'm not sure what any of that has to do with the entry I pasted above but I guess in short what I'm trying to say is, yeah I feel invisible, and probably will spend a lot of my time here feeling that way. But what I'm figuring out is sometimes you learn more, and maybe get a greater experience by being invisible. (or something like that)

Love and miss you all like crazy!

bloody, buggar, blasted, beasty balls :)

2009-12-14T06:45:00.000-08:00

HAHA so the title for this blog comes from my roommate Lauren. We were watching Starter for 10 an English comedy of sorts and Lauren and I were loving the English accents and vocab. That was then that we decided that we will "speak British" at our house. There's more to how "bloody, buggar, blasted, beasty balls" came out of Laurens mouth but I can't remember.

Last week and weekend were crazy. On Thursday an RA Roberto and I took 6 residents to see the Christmas Cantata at the church I have been attending. Chaleece was in the show and Tina met me there. It was a really nice show. Full of cheesy dialogue and songs about Jesus. There were also dancers which is what Chaleece was doing. It was a nice evening. My favorite part was Robertos wife came and brought their 6 week old son with her. So Tina and I spent the show playing pass the baby and fawning over Levi. After the show Chaleece, Tina and I went to Chilis for some dinner and I got home about 11:30 and passed out.

Friday was a bad day at work. I have some issues with how things are being handled and people are being treated. But as my parents pointed out that is just life in the workplace. People want stuff done and they will use their power to get it done. SO lets just say i was counting down the minutes to go home. I actually went straight to get Tina because I said I would give her a ride to her staff Christmas party at Michaels and plus I wanted to go. I was there about 20 minutes and started feeling bad so i went home. Rebecca came home a volunteered to go get Tina so I didn't have to drive back out to Michaels. Friday night James and Jon came up from Tampa for the weekend. The two of them along with Neal, Peter, Amanda, and Lauren went and saw Chaleece in the cantata. Afterwards they came over and played some games.

Saturday I got up around 10am and hung out. Then all the boys came over and Lauren, me, and them went to get lunch at a Chinese buffet. Then they all went to see a movie and I went to another Mary Kay party at Tina's. Afterwards at home Lauren and the boys came back and we sat around staring at each other for a good 2 hours. Jon was getting bored and antsy so we gave him a list of stuff that needed to be fixed around the house and off he went (boys are handy sometimes) Chaleece came over and declared that she wanted to build a gingerbread house. Then boys were hungry so they left to get house supplies, food, and beer. Lauren and I stayed behind and started making Christmas cookies. So that night my house was filled with the delicious smell of cooking sugar cookies, the sounds of laughter and Christmas music, and just a great feeling you get when you hang out with people you love and you forget about the stresses of life. Lauren and I kicked everyone out around 1am after a game of Mafia and a 30 minute discussion about the probability of someone getting the Mafia card two games in a row. (i chose to ignore all of them and clean the kitchen. math makes my head hurt :) )

Sunday I slept in till 12 and it was wonderful. After getting dressed in my awesome Christmas tackiness. Lauren and I got ready for the party. I made punch that had raspberry sherbet, tropical fruit punch, and champagne in it. ( which was DELICIOUS) Lauren made frosting for the cookies and we set up the cookie bar. We turned all the Christmas lights on and the music and waited for everyone to show up. It was a great day. We did the advent calendar for the day and then talked about our spiritual gifts. People brought food with them so we ate and were just plain merry. Then we handed out all the secret santa gifts and opened one at a time. I had Emi and I burnt him a CD of all my favorite worship songs and a book of prayers. Jon had me and he wrote me a poem and got me a $10 gift card to Chilis. Everyone stayed until about 8 then Michael came back to pick up Rebecca to go watch a meteor shower and he helped us clean everything up washed dishes and everything. (he slightly renewed my hope in the male species)

So yeah it was a crazy busy and fun weekend. I will make another post about this week because this one is long enough.

Love and miss you all
<3

I COME HOME TOMORROW!!!

Christmas Time Is Here

2009-12-09T08:27:00.001-08:00

So Friday was as Tina puts it "round one of Christmas parties." Friday night Elaine (the director of CVIF) had a cocktail party at her house. We were all excited thinking about dressing up in our cocktail dresses, heels, and layers of extra make-up. We actually spent two weeks asking what are you wearing and activity looking. My mother even shipped a pair of shoes to me. So the night came we were all ready to go and looking mighty fine I may add. We get there and we were ENTIRLY overdressed. HAHA While people looked nice it was nice jeans and top look. There were even a few in jeans and a sweatshirt. So it was a bot awkward walking in and looking like Christmas barbie dolls. But I calmed my anxiety by thinking "I spend all week waking up and throwing on the first thing I see, I like to dress up once and a while and look really good." :)

So we sat around (there was no way we were going to stand for a few hours in heels) Ate some really good food and merrily drank. Elaine had invited the CVIF board members so everyone had to be on their best behavior. Admittedly I was a bit nervous that I would do or say something stupid, but everyone was really nice and it was a really good time. At about 8pm everyone started trickling out. Lauren and Rebecca wanted to go but I wasn't ready. Tina and Amanda wanted to stay, so they agreed to drive me home. After everyone but Elaine's friends had left we played Catch Phrase, I think is the name of it. It was so much fun. Good times. So then Tina and Amanda drove me home and I walked in to all the lights off. All the Christmas lights on and Rebecca, Lauren, Chaleece, and Neal watching Serendipity. It was a bit funny.

Saturday I worked for a few hours and then went to a Mary Kay party that one of my coworkers was hosting. It was really nice. But man are those Mary Kay women tricky. I somehow got conned into hosting my own party and paying way to much money for a tube of lip gloss. I left there dazed and confuse saying "Wait what just happened." Actually everyone got conned into a party. So for the next 3 Saturdays I have an invitation to a party. JEEZ!

Sunday was a lazy days. I started working on my Christmas presents. I underestimated my ability, patience and motivation to actually make them. So it took me a few days to get them done. But last night I got them all finished wrapped and I only have 3 more gifts to finish. But my room looks like Santa's Shop with all the colorful packages everywhere. Not to mention scraps of paper, newspaper, plates with paint, and random craft thing strewn ALL over the place.

This week has been pretty boring. Same old thing at work. I'm excited for this weekend though. Saturday I have another Mary Kay party and Sunday is Orlando groups monthly community meeting. Rebecca, Lauren and i are going all out since its December. We are having a tacky sweater theme, exchanging secret Santa presents, we are going to have a cookie bar, and some yummy spiked punch. Our house looks great with all the decorations. Once again my mother proved to be the coolest mom ever and sent me a big box of all my Christmas decorations. Yay for round 2 of parties.

Love and miss you all

14 days until I come home

Thankfulness and a Rap

2009-12-03T06:48:00.000-08:00

So this is my what I'm thankful for post. I know I'm a week late but aren't you supposed to be aware and speak what your thankful for all the time?
I am thankful for my family. For parents who have and do wholly support and stand behind me and the decisions I make in my life (even if they have to grin and bear it sometimes). They sacrifice so much so that I get not only what I need but what I want as well. They are willing to do just about anything to ensure that I am happy, healthy, and content and I am thankful for that. For my little sister who asks for nothing but my love and an open ear once and awhile.
I am thankful for my friends, both in IN and FL. They love me even when I'm neurotic and crazy. They encourage me when I want to give up, and they make laugh so hard I tears start streaming down my face and can't breathe. I am so thankful for the blessing of them in my life.
I am thankful for the opportunity to work with Pathways to Care and to serve the homeless. I am thankful for the chance to grow and learn about myself and the possibilities I can achieve.
So those are just a few small things I am thankful for.

Wednesday night at my house is roommate night. The three of us are always running in three different directions and we take Wednesday night to reconnect and just hang out together. Well last night we decorated the house together. It was so much fun. We were laughing, messing with each other (Lauren hates Christmas hehe) I love Christmas and decorating and all that jazz so I was hyper and just generally freaking out last night.
Lauren and Rebecca were getting a bit fed up with me when I kept telling them where to put things and going behind them and fixing it. It was then that I realized I was acting exactly like my mother at Christmas when it comes to decorating the house, and I told them as such. I said "You think I'm bad come to my house when we are decorating for Christmas." But you know what it needs to look nice and if you are good at decorating then there's nothing wrong with sharing that skill (right mom?)
After we got done decorating with the stuff we have at the moment. The three of us were sitting on the couch and Lauren was telling us about this song she heard over and over at Busch Gardens and the only line she remembered was "Our love is like a holiday." From there it launched into the three of us spending 30minutes writing a rap about Christmas, the three of us, and other ridiculous things. Then we mad ea video of us saying it. The best part of the whole thing is that I thought I hit stop and apparently I didn't, so Lauren goes "it's still going," and my response is to yell. HAHAHA We kept replaying the last few seconds over and over and just laughing hysterically. You can find the video on my facebook profile, but I'll post the lyrics on here.

At the 3208 our love is like a holiday
We do Advent at night
And we work all day

We'll have mistletoe so CV's can kiss
Oh did we mention Lauren hates Christmas

We love to laugh
And Jesus is our thing
We strung Christmas lights
And we like to sing

At the Christmas party there'll be a cookie bar
Oh did we mention Sarah hit a car

When Santa comes there will be no fear'
Cause the stupid alarm is what we'll hear

No popcorn on strings so we don't get ants
Oh did we mention Rebecca don't wear pants

We've got eight months until we leave
For now we just be livin' in community

Oh and something that we are doing that I absolutely love is every night the three of us are lighting the advent candles and saying the readings and prayers. I haven't done this since I was in elementary school. It's so nice.

Love and miss you all

19 days until I come home for Christmas :D

Updaty Kind of Thing

2009-11-24T12:33:00.000-08:00

I’ve been so busy ranting and posting emoish poems that I haven’t actually written about what’s been going on in my life down here J

So let’s see I left off right before heading to the retreat, which was a month ago. Wow this month went fast.
So the retreat was amazing! The center was right across the street from the beach which was unbelievable. I think the beaches on the gulf are better then the ones on the Atlantic. The sand was white and it felt like you were walking through flour. The water felt like a bath and there were shells all over the shore. The first night we were there we went and watched the sunset as a group. We also went and had prayer on the beach the next morning and watched the sunrise. We traveled to Imokolee one day which is a migrant worker town. Most of the people living there work in the tomatoes fields down here.
Then retreat was over Halloween so everyone was told to come in costume. It was of course under the threat that if they didn’t, they would end up in Tina’s clothes (even the boys). It was great we had an angel, Harry Potter (ME J ) Jack, Kate, Locke, and Naomi from lost, a hippie, a cat, Cruella de Vil, and some others that I can’t remember. We had a costume contest, a dance party and watch a scary movie. But half way through the dance party most people had left to go to a bar. Apparently at a normal college (or any college that doesn’t ban drinking) Halloween is a night to go out and get wasted. Only this time you’re in a costume. Hehe So it was a great weekend. It was nice to catch up with people, since some of haven’t seen each other since the July retreat.
This past weekend I went up to Jacksonville on Saturday with Chaleece. Me, Chaleece, Sarah, and Shawna all went to see New Moon. I like it. The movie was def better than Twilight, but probably not worth the $10 to see it. I got a free New Moon cup so that makes it ok in my mind. After the movies we went over to The Ale House and got a drink and watch a UFC fight and laughed at the boys who were getting all into it. Sunday we just laid around the house and Chaleece and I left around 4pm. Friday was Rebecca’s b-day so we had a little party for her Sunday night.

This Thursday is Thanksgiving and Chaleece, Lauren, James, and I are going up to Jacksonville to eat at Larsh with Loren and Agata. We will probably see Shawna while we are there. Her birthday is on Thanksgiving and her parents are coming down from Ohio celebrate with her. Everyone else is going home.

Work is going well. There are days where I feel like ripping my hair out but I love the residents. They truly make all of this worth it. I have discovered that painting is a big hit with them. I have a big container full of acrylic paint and I just set that out with paint brushes and a blank piece of paper and tell them to go to town. It’s great; I sit in there with them for 2 hours and just chat and paint. I am making place cards with them tomorrow to have at the table on Thursday.

Love and miss you all

Beautiful Are The Works That I Know Well

2009-11-17T06:44:00.000-08:00

So here is a truth. I am fat.
*GASP* she said the "f" word.
Yep folks that's right, I'm fat and while there are times I wish I was thinner for the most part I am happy and confident with who I am and how I look.

What I don't understand is societies stance on feeling good about yourself. Everyone says "oh you need to love yourself as you are" blah blah blah But when a fat person says "I am" society turns around and says "Oh no that is not healthy." They seem to think that if you are fat and confident in how you look then you will not try and become a skinny robot.
When in fact I have found through my own experience and through talking with others that when I am feeling confident and happy then I am more likely to eat healthier and exercise. Its when I hate myself and am feeling miserable that I hit the fast food drive thrus.

While the majority of societies message out there is you need to be skinny and look this way! NOW. Shouldn't the message be, love who you are no matter the size of the jeans or the number on the scale.
I have found that there is a small but growing movement to get this message out. I stumbled across this great website with this amazing mission. So I am challenging all of you that read this to take part. Its amazing how a few little words can change someones day.

http://operationbeautiful.com/

Love and miss you all!

This Body of Mine

2009-11-06T09:47:00.001-08:00

These eyes have seen unspeakable joy and unbearable ache
They have seen the unjust and the injustice of this world.
They have seen the beauty in the plain and had countless tears spill over

These ears have heard words that break and words that restore.
They have heard laughter from the innocent and the language of evil
They have heard the noise of the city and the quiet of the country

These lips have spoken words that have saved a life and brought tears of anguish
They have tasted the softness of another and the sweetness of love
They have leaked notes of harmony and hymns of praise

This body of mine has been places far and wide. Experienced things that few ever will.
This body of mine has carried me through and never given up.
This body of mine is something to be treasured and cared.
But in reality is this body ever truly mine?

Familiarity

2009-10-27T18:07:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting on my bed right now. I hear Chaleece laughing that amazing laugh she has from Rebecca's room. My door is open and I see Lauren walking back and forth doing her laundry. My favorite CD of the moment is playing in the background and my room smells like a combo of my vanilla candle and cooking pumpkin bread wafting from downstairs. And I'm debating with Shawna whether to pack a suitcase rather than a duffel bag.
As I sit and take all of this in I am struck by a familiarity of it. Almost like deja vu. Then I figure out what it is. It reminds me of when I was little and my family would prepare for summer vacation.
Mom would be in the kitchen making cookies, brownies and other goodies for the trip while going over the plans for the millionth time.
Dad is packing the car grumbling about how in the world we need this much stuff and switching loads in the laundry.
Emily and I are in our rooms with the doors open for a change with our prospective music playing. Going back and forth asking if we are bringing this or that. Usually I'm packed first and I sit in her room and keep her company and push her along as she starts her packing.
There is a sense of excitement for the trip to come and all the adventures we are going to have.
I feel safe. I feel comfortable.
I've missed feeling this way. Like what I'm doing at this moment where I am at this moment is right.
Like Lauren commented on my last blog "You will make it through the year... maybe with tears in your eyes and tired hands... yet you will make it."
and I will

Love and miss you all

Bipolar Much?

2009-10-06T12:47:00.000-07:00

So the last week has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me and all I can do is hang on and hope no one else gets hurt :)

I have so much to say but no idea how to put the words down and make them sounds compentant. HAHA So frustrating!

Convos with a middle schoolers

2009-10-01T19:13:00.000-07:00

This is a conversation I had with one of the middle schoolers from Faith community. I heart them and they make me laugh. :D

Clay

....... Vote fishers

http://www.wthr.com/Global/story.asp?S=5299231#WNPoll87891

Just sayin

9:49pmSarah

haha k

but actually no

i fieldalways gotta support west

9:49pmClay

Evil

9:49pmSarah

westfield

haha

9:49pmClay

demon spawn

9:50pmSarah

clay there no need to talk about yourseldf that way

9:50pmClay

AW thanks, ur always so nice to me!

9:51pmSarah

yeah well your one of my fav red heads

9:51pmClay

And sam is one your lest, of course.

*least

9:51pmSarah

shh dont tell

9:53pmSarah

so why are you pissed at your parents

9:54pmClay

offline

cuz

9:54pmSarah

huh

9:54pmClay

(u keep going offline and i cant send messages)

9:54pmSarah

hmm dont know why

crappy internet connection

9:55pmClay

same here. Storm

9:56pmSarah

so whats up in good ol indiana

9:58pmClay

Well i dont know whats up down there, But here the SKY is up. Like usual. Geez, that place is REALLY different i guess.

9:58pmSarah

yeah it is

our grass is up and we walk on clouds

9:59pmClay

Whoa.... creepy....

10:00pmSarah

it is

10:00pmClay

wouldnt u like..... fal thru?

10:00pmSarah

nah

we swim alot thopught

though

10:01pmClay

What happens when theres lightning?!?!?! Ouch. Ur feet must be made of rubber.

10:01pmSarah

we have special rubber shoes

but it dont get alot of lightening. mostly just rain from the sprinklers

10:02pmClay

how can sprinkles be in clouds?

10:03pmSarah

sprinklers are in the grass which is up

10:03pmClay

So.... Is there still gravity down there?

10:08pmSarah

yes

though sometimes during really bad storms it goes out

so we have gravity jackets that we have to have at all times

so we dont float away

10:10pmClay

Float away into the sky/ground?

10:10pmSarah

ground

well i'm headed out with a friend

it was nice talking woth you

10:11pmClay

Same. adios.

2009-09-23T06:06:00.001-07:00

So I can;t think of anything truly interesting to say but its been a while since my last post so I think I should at least say something.
My life has settled into a nice routine and I couldn't be happier about it.
I wake up at 8am and get to work by 9am
I do whatever at work. Everyday is different which is one reason why I love it here.
I get off of work at 5pm and head home.
Once I'm home my roommate Lauren and I usually work out them make dinner together
Then Lauren and I watch a few episodes of Friends or Lost then we head up to bed around 10.
I shower, read, or watch something on my computer and fall asleep around 12.
And that is was a typical day looks like. I hope you enjoyed that little look into my life.
:)

This past Saturday I gave a talk on positivity to the residents and some of the RAs were there. I was nervous because I had no idea how everyone was going to respond. From my interactions with them and talking with Linda I was afraid they were going to be unresponsive and just plain difficult.
Boy was I wrong. Edged on with the incentive of candy and fun pens I was pleasantly surprised.
The residents shared stories, responded to my questions, and were just plain talkative. Especially one man who for the most part of his time here spent it quietly shuffling around. He was talking a mile a minute and had an opinion about EVERYTHING. I was so thrilled and relieved with how it went.
One of my thoughts was YAY I'm putting my degree to use. my parents would be so happy. haha

Love and miss you all,
Sarah

Things I Can't Live Without

2009-09-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

A guy named Ben wrote a blog post about the 5 things that at this moment he can't live without. This is my response and here is the original post http://doctorbenjy.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-havent-got-my-wallet.html

Music/ipod
Ever since I was a little girl music has been a large part of my life. I've sung in choirs, played the piano, and the clarinet. Music has such power to it. Whether to make someone laugh, cry, get inspired or whatever. I also have great respect for the people who make music.

Passion
I couldn't live my life if i wasn't passionate about something. Passion for things whether is be a book series (Harry Potter) or a job (Pathways). I have found that I look forward to going to work in the morning. I attribute a lot of this to the fact that i am passionate about working with my clients and making sure that for a second. minute whatever they can forget about their crappy lives and realize that someone cares about them.

Internet
Living a 1000 miles away from my friends and family the Internet has become even more important to me. I am more able to communicate with my friends and family to be involved i their lives even if just a little. Plus I gain great entertainment from sites like YouTube, facebook,MLIA, etc.

Crafts
Cheap therapy. Enough said :)

Friends/Family
I'm putting them in the same category cuz I consider a lot of my friends to be my family and my family to be my friends. They may drive me crazy sometimes, but I wouldn't be who I am today and where I am today without them.

So yeah those are my 5 things. What are yours?

Love and miss you all,
Sarah

Scars

2009-09-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

So the concept of scars has been heavily on my mind this past week. We are all shaped by the scars that we carry. Whether its a hole in the ground left by a building, lines on your arm from a razor, or a broken heart put back together.
Our lives change from the events that we go through, and it is impossible for some of these to not leave scars.

Friday was September 11th. A lot of people are saying that this is THE defining moment for my generation. Years down the road we will tell our grand kids where we were when the planes hit the towers. I personally was in Spanish class. It was almost the end of the period when out principal came over the intercom saying "a plane has just hit one of the twin towers." at the moment it meant nothing to me. I was like ok a plane flew into a building, well that sucks. But then I went to photography class and the tv was on. it was there that the realization of those planes meant. people in the world became more cautious, and suspicious. the scars from that day are seen and felt everyday as people board planes, leave for what seems to be a never ending fight, or wake up and remember that someone they love is no longer on this earth.

This past week was also Suicide Prevention Week. This was brought to my attention by a blog written by Jamie the founder of To Write Love on her Arms. The blog talked about how it doesn't take and expert to "prevent suicide." Sometimes all it takes is someone asking how ya doing and honestly wanting to hear the answer. Its a really great message. Check it out:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=61976377&blogId=509596080

So how does the concept of scars relate to me you may be asking. Well I carry the scars of a deep depression. One so deep that I almost ended my life. The scars from this cover more than just me. I see them in my parents, my sister, and some of my friends. How my life has created scars for them as well as me. So I have recently started to deal with these scars and what they mean for me and my life. A large change is that I have such a passion to help people. To help someone get through life as unscathed as possible. Especially teens, cuz lets face it being a teenager sucks and having an understanding ear can be one of the most helpful things in the world. Something that is stated in the TWLOHA cause is that there is a purpose for the pain. I believe that this is SO true. If we don't learn from our experiences and use that knowledge to help others that I feel like learning that lesson is a waste. There is a purpose to the pain I have been through and now I am on a journey to discover it and do something with it.

Your past, and your scars tell a story which is beautiful. Your pain has a purpose. Your story is meant to be heard. You have the power to change lives, and change the world! Do it! Feel beautiful! Be proud of who you are today!

I love and miss you all
Sarah <3

1 Month

2009-08-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

So August 27th marked one month since I packed up my life and moved to Florida. In this month I have gained quite a bit.
First of all, a pretty good tan.
Second, a new sense of what it means to be patient.
Third, so amazing new friends, who without I would probably still not be down here.
Fourth, a new found appreciation for the fact that I am a pretty laid back person.
Fifth, a love of road trips, true or dare, and never have I ever.
Sixth, an amazing new sense of where the cheapest stuff is to buy.

I could go on, but those are some of the As things I thought of off the top of my head. As frustrating it is to not have been place yet, and have my life be a pretty big unknown right now, I am having the most wonderful time down here. I made the statement last week that if I didn't have a position by the end of this week I was going to start the process of coming home and doing something else. When I said this I was met with a response of "You can't leave, we love you. You're to awesome to leave us." I was honestly so touched me. I thought about it and as much as I want to say screw it and you and leave I would miss everyone and all the insane adventures.

So yeah I guess you can say I have a new found resolve to stick it out and see what happens. There is one very very good prospective who said that they would get back to us sometime next week. I worked it out with my roommate one night this week and I can not have a placement until the 3rd week of September and still get all my hours in and have vacation. So that was like a huge weight off my shoulders to figure that out.

Okay on to a story from last night. Me Chaleece, and Lauren didn't have any plans or a want to go out so we thought we would stay in. So when Chaleece and lauren got home from work we made dinner together. Then we called Neal and Peter and invited them over for beer, and movies. We also decided that we wanted to cook something sweet and decided on puppy chow. That required going out and getting supplies. So we went to Publix and got everything for puppy chow and a couple bottles of wine. We were checking out and Lauren and I were together and there was another group in between us and Chaleece. So when the check out guy rang us up he didn't ask for Laurens id. Ok a little weird but we weren't going to say anything. So we moved to one side and waited for Chaleece. Well Chaleece was buying some wine too and when he rang her up he checked her id. Well Lauren and I started laughing and CHaleece calls over to us. The check out guy then proceeds to tell us that he got nervous when we were hanging around. He thought we might be with a beverage company that does secret shopping to make sure people cashiers are iding people. So that why he ided Chaleece (who is 3 years older than me) and not Lauren. He was like "I was getting so nervous." So yeah, its probably one of those stories where you had to be there but it was hilarious.

So Peter and Neal came over and we had a grand old time. Last night they were going to launch a rocket from Cape Canaveral, which is 30 miles from us. We obviously wanted to see this, but none of us were in any condition to drive. So we sat outside at 11:59pm and watched the space ship launch. It was SO cool. I'm so glad I got to see it.

Today a bunch of us are going to this place called Taco Johns. Its 40 minutes away and is basically like Taco Bell. Now you may ask "Why the hell are you driving 40 minutes to go to a fast food taco place." Well apparently they are all over the place in South Dakota which is where Lauren is from. She was shocked that they weren't here. So she has been talking about this restaurant for weeks now. So we all want to try it and see what is so wonderful. And according to Chaleece it will be a fun adventure. My response is "Whatever Chaleece as long as I don't have to drive." So yeah that is where I am headed in about an hour.

Love and miss you all,
Sarah

theres a hurricane in my boot (WHAT?)

2009-08-24T10:29:00.000-07:00

So Friday evening me along with Kyle, Chaleece, Tina, and Amanda piled in my car and drove up to Jacksonville. We went to see Frank, Sarah, Shawna, Kim and Krista.
So on the way up we played truth or dare, never have I ever, would you rather and other assorted games. We learned quite a bit about each other and had a ton of fun. Kyle I think learned more than he wanted to about the 4 girls in the car :)
We arrived in Jacksonville at about 9 and got dressed to leave. We went to a bar called Bourbon Street. There were actually like 5 bars in one but we had access to three of them. Since there were 10 of us we slit up. Most of us ended up in a country/western line dancing bar hanging out and playing pool. Which I thought was great, I'm more of a hang out and talk rather than dance (or as my dad calls it "Have sex with your clothes on") We all left when the place closed at 2am. The next day we got up and went to brunch at IHOP and then a bunch of us went to St. Augustine to go to the beach. While we were driving we went straight into a huge storm courtesy of Hurricane Bill. It was terrifying. I was driving and the rain was coming down so hard there were times you couldn't see in front of you. But we made it though. When we arrived at St. Augustine it was still raining so we decided to walk around. The city is really old and is this cute, touristy place. We went into a couple art galleries and found a pub to get some drinks. Me, Frank, Corey, Tina and Shawna hung out for a while and the rest of the peeps went to get pizza and explore. Finally it stopped raining and we headed to the beach. The water was insane. The waves were huge and the rip tide was the strongest I've ever felt. Needless to say we didn't go out very far or stay in for to long. We tossed around a football for a while and then the boys went to a bar to watch some game and the girls stayed and laid out. It was about 7pm when we left for home.
Since Saturday was Corey's last night in Jacksonville (he was visiting Frank) We decided to go out again. We went to a club that was on the beach. But Frank pre-gamed a little to hard because we pulled up to the club and he immediately started throwing up. So Shawna ended up taking him home. Well when Corey found out he stormed off without telling anyone where he was going and he didn't have a cell phone. So me Kyle and Sarah looked for him from about 11:30pm until 2am when he showed up a the club where we were wasted. We were all pissed. So we dropped him off at home and went back to Kim and Krista's where we were staying.
We got up on Sunday and headed for home. The ride back was a lot more subdued as everyone was tired and asleep. I got home at about 1pm and slept basically the rest of the afternoon.
Now its Monday and I am at the volunteer office, still with no job.
Overall it was a great weekend. It was happy to see everyone since it had been a month since we had all seen each other. Hopefully this week I'll finally get a job.

Love and miss you all,
Sarah

and the adventure continues

2009-08-20T17:00:00.000-07:00

So that last post was just absolutely, pitifully depressing. It got everyone all worried and crap. So to everyone *cough*mom*cough* I AM FINE! I promise, i even pinkie promise. I had a hard week last week. That is all, stop worrying so much :) (i know that won't happen but i gotta say it)
So on to other things. So I STILL don't have a job yet. Its getting a little annoying that people keep asking me about it. I know that they care and want to know whats going but yeah... Trust me people when I get a job you will all know. After calling my mother I will be screaming about it at the top of my lungs on facebook, twitter, and youtube. So while I hate not having a job and not really having and real stability or routine in my life I am feeling pretty okay about it. I truly have adopted a "i'm here for a reason and whatever happens, happens" Whats that song "que sera" (sp?) What ever will be, will be. :D Its nice having this mindset. it gives me a sense of peace within all the craziness. SO yeah
So in the past week I have reconnected/connected with a friend from home. We have been talking a bit and through the course of our convos he revealed stuff to me about himself and I told him stuff about me. After finding this stuff out it totally changed how I viewed him and how he acts while talking to me. Its so cool its like talking to a completely different person (and I'm not exaggerating) I think its really cool. We are comfortable with each other. But something that I find sad is that he has to keep this info about himself secret, and that he can't be himself around people. I think its so sad that we live in a world where we have to put on masks wherever we are, whether church, school, work, even at home. For me personally I have worn so many different masks that I woke up one day and realized that I didn't really know who I honestly was. The way I acted, talked, the things I was into were so different. Thankfully I was able to work it all out and figure out who I am while I am still young.
Now I say all this but I do think that a certain sense of a mask is important in life. You have to act certain ways when you are in different circumstances. You can't act the same way with all your friends at home and at work and all that jazz.
So yeah this is just me rambling and putting down some stuff thats been on my mind.
Embrace it, love it, live it :D

Love and miss you all,
Sarah

Homesick

2009-08-14T14:18:00.000-07:00

I think if I were to be completely honest I would say that I have been trying to ignore/deny the fact that I'm homesick. Even more than that, how much I am homesick. This week has been hard. I still don't have a placement and having everything up in the air and not have any sot of routine is wearing on me. I thrive on knowing what my day is going to be like and the stability that comes from that.
I have found myself waking up and in a bad mood for no reason at all. The people I am around, where before I loved hanging out with them, just annoy me and piss me off. All I want right now is a familiar face and that feeling of comfort that you get when you are with someone who truly gets you and all the crap in your life.
I've started to tell people about my life and everything that has happened, but something happens and the walls go up. I hesitate and just move on in the conversation.
I know that I am supposed to think that this is God testing me and that I'm down here for a reason, but hearing that and thinking that doesn't help anything. I find no comfort and hearing that its all happening for a reason. I don't know I guess I just continue to get up each day and hope that this is the day I get a job and I find a new "normal" for my life.
Alright whining over.

Love you and miss you all more than you know,
Sarah

Crazy Fun, Goodbyes, and Scabies!

2009-08-11T08:27:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!
So this past weekend we celebrated two birthdays. On Friday night all of the Orlando girls and two from Jacksonville went out to celebrate Chaleece turning 26. It was a lot of fun. Then on Saturday me, Tina, Chaleece, and Krista all went to Coca Beach. The beach is about an hour away. We spent about three hours there and headed home for another party. Peter and Neal had a cookout/pool party to celebrate Neal turning 30. Their apartment has a great pool and a little area with a grill and some picnic tables.
After the party Chgallece came home with me and spent the night becasue we were going to church together the next morning. The church we attended is called Metro Life Church. There are about 800 people who attend regularly. The Wednesday befpre Chaleece and I had attended a home group which is basically a bible study in someones home. I really enjoyed the discussion and everyone was so kind and welcoming. Anyways Sunday, the service started wth about and hour of worship and then there is a 10 minute break to realease the children to Sunday school. After the break is the message. The service runs just a little under 2 hours. I like the church alot. I was worried that I would not be able to find somewhere where I feel comfortable and enjoy. Faith meant so much to me and the people there were truly my second family. But I think I may ahve found a good fit. This Wednesday I am going to a singles group, which should be interesting :)
Sunday night the Orlando had a spiritual get together. Part of being in Catholic Volunteers is that we spend time in the word and pursuing our faith. All of us will get together once a month to do whatever we want. This month we just went around and discussed out spiritual backgrounds. It was interesting to see how differnt everyone is. There are several of us who are not Catholic, but almost everyone had been raised in the church. There is something comforting about hearing how differnt we are in our beliefs but we are all here foir the same reason, a passion to serve others.
So Monday for me was pretty crappy. I woke up yesterday to an email saying that a frioend of mine from Anderson had been shot and killed over the weekend. Needless to say that is not how you want to start your day. I'm still in shock that he is gone. He had just sent me a message on Friday talking about what he had been up to and what he was going to do in the coming weeks.
Then Sister Florence got a call from Chaleece saying that she had gone to an emergancy care clinic because her hands and thighs were covered in red spots that itched. Her hands were also swollen and hurt. Well teh doctor told her that she had scabies! the doctor gave her some bream and steriods to take. Well we were all freaked out. Scabies is highly contagious and Chaleece had spent slept in my bed the night before. SO I went home and washed my sheets and disenfected moy room. The poor thing has been banned from work for the next 7 days. She says she already is feeling better though.
So I still don't have a placement yet. Honestly my patience is wearing thin and I am losing a bit of hope. But my fingers are still crossed and I am believeing that God brought me down here for a reason.

Love you all,
Sarah

First Day of Work

2009-08-04T18:28:00.000-07:00

So everyone started their jobs today. Since I have not been place yet I am working at the Catholic Volunteers office with two other girls who haven't been placed. The day was uneventful. I helped to stamped about a bazillion letters and then spent some time on careerbuilder.com looking for nonprofit job openings. I found a few and Sister Florence will be contacting them in the next few days. Then I spent about 3 hours in the car dropping off some letters and getting my finger prints retaken. I spent an 1 1/2 of that stuck in traffic. In the end I got to spend some quality time with Amanda and saw at the highways of Orlando. Something interesting about the streets here is that to get anywhere you have to make ALOT of u-turns. I have done more uturns in the past 3 days then in the 6 six years i have had my licesence.
Last night me Lauren and Rebecca (my roommates) had 6 of the volunteers over to our house fpr dinner. It was alot of fun. After everyone left Tina and I watched Becoming Jane.
This weekend all the girls here in Orlando are planning a trip to Coca Beach. Then we are all going over to Neal and Peter's for a cookout to celebrate August birthdays. Then on Sunday we are all meeting at Emios house for a prayer meeting or something like that.
So far everything is going great down here. I've had little bits of homesickness here and there but for the most part I love Florida and the people i'm with.
Oh and I would like to rant about the heat for a minute. ITS FREAKIN RIDICULOUS!!! i never cools down and it won't really cool down until october. UGGG! ok rant over :)
Here is my address
3208 Parkside Court
Winter Park, FL 32792
feel free to send me goodies ;)

Love you and miss you all
Sarah

Back Row: Tina, Frank, Me, Rebecca, Kim, Lauren, Emi
Middle Row: Zach, Kyle, Neal, Shawna, James, Sarah, Loren, Sister Florence, Peter
Front Row: Augata, Jonathan, Krista, Elaine, Chaleece, Amanda

And So It Begins

2009-07-31T16:49:00.000-07:00

This is going to be short. So July 27th began my year of service in Orlando, FL with the Catholic Volunteers in Florida. This week I have been at a retreat and tomorrow I leave to move into my house with two other girls. I still don't have a placement for a job yet but I have been continually reassured that I will get one. I will post my address here in Orlando later b/c i don't have it in front of me and I don't really feel like going back to my room to get it. :) If you want to contact me my email address is slhenry87@yahoo. I will try and keep this updated, but won't make any promises. If it gets to long between post feel free to yell at me through email or something. Hope everyone had a great week. Please pray that I am placed soon and that everything goes smooth as we all disperse and start jobs, and move in. If you have any prayer requests, please let me know I would love to pray for you all.

<3
Sarah